Are you keeping up with the family?
Last night I dreamed I was a Kardashian. Maybe it was my close-to- midnight reading of “Kardashian Konfidential,” the sisters’ gemütlich memoir about their rise from celebutante glitz and glam (they grew up in a Beverly Hills house with a pool “shaped like a duck,” not to mention neighbors like Jay Leno) to stratospheric glitz and glam. Or maybe it was my recent blip of a visit out to L.A. to meet with Ma and Pa. But any which way I was staying over at their house and didn’t want to go home. In fact, I was so eager to keep talking poolside with the girls while Kris brought out scrumptious guacamole that I kept missing my flight. The girls were wearing their usual cartload of makeup, heavy on the eyes, and yet it looked natural next to their minimal, slightly cheesy outfits and long, dark tresses. There was cleavage everywhere, and Kim and Khloé waved their designer heels in the air while talking about the importance of a strong work ethic and bikini waxes. Kourtney had baby Mason on her lap and Bruce was puttering about. The thought occurred to me that if I hung around long enough, I too would discover the secret of the universe — of their universe, where the money tumbled in and interracial romance was applauded and no one ever gave a thought to much beyond the logistics of the next highly remunerated appearance (private plane, hair and makeup) . . . and then I woke up, in my bed, far from the sun and the fun.
About that blip of a visit: It is coming up on 9 a.m. on a Tuesday morning in mid-October, and inside the gated community of Hidden Hills, about an hour’s drive in traffic from Beverly Hills, the front door to Kris and Bruce Jenner’s house is unlocked. I wander past workmen inside the sprawling entryway, which leads to rooms on either side as well as a regally curving staircase, and let out a tentative hello. Everything in the house looks very luxe and new, including a gleaming white kitchen with a white chandelier — and, as it turns out, has been recently renovated, from doorknobs to tiles, during a break from filming the E! network phenomenon “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” About a minute later, Kris, looking like a less imposing version of her TV self and a lot like Eydie Gorme, emerges and calls to her husband to come and join us.
T Magazine | December 4, 2010.